Here’s to the worst days of my life: they day I learned about loss

Today marks one year since the day I learned that the weight that comes with loss never goes away, yet it it teaches us how to carry it. It has been an overwhelming year, filled with thrills of both kinds, and looking back, I realized I have learned a lot.

Family is one of the most important things in life

Whether have a big family or a small one, whether you are all together, or scattered all over the world, take the time to connect with your parents, you siblings and your grandparents. They basically made you who you are now, even if it doesn’t feel that way sometimes. To let too long become too late, tell the people you love how you feel, and if you’re not good at saying “I love yous”, remember that actions are just as good.

Change is complicated

Nobody really like change, or most of us are uncomfortable with it. I am now, more than ever, aware of the fact that “the only way out is through”. Don’t think for a second you have the answers for disease, death, loss, poverty… you don’t. But you are equipped with all sorts of miraculous features that somehow get you through. You learn you can do anything, fear is no longer a problem, because you don’t have the time to overthink or anticipate. You might be “lucky” enough to share the awful moments with other people, and that helps a lot, but you actually have most of the answers in you.

It’s OK to grieve the loss of a loved one

It’s true that each of has has their own coping mechanisms and grief rarely is the same for people. I choose to believe that loss is part of life, I have never been afraid of the idea of death or cemeteries, I find the first liberating, and the second a different way to celebrate this “episode” of life. I also believe in life after death, but that is a whole different topic for debate. All I am really sure of is that if you lose a loved one, the only way to keep him or her with you is by keeping their memory alive. Make them part of your life, of your jokes and stories and they will never leave your side.

Loss also teaches self love

When you lose someone you love, it suddenly gives you a different perspective of life. The first one is: life is short, you  don’t know how long you have, or when you might lose your health. Yes, health is very important. Without it, you simply stop being yourself. So, as you get used to the hole that loss brings you, you can knit a colorful net to cover it up, and grow other things around it, like self love. It’s important to understand that you are all you  really have, and it is your duty to preserve that in the best form, because this way, you celebrate all the people that left a mark in your life.

Loss and fear go hand in hand

Once you’ve experienced loss, you become more cautious. You watch your step, you are quite alarmed and afraid of what might happen next. And from my experience, you might get to see even worse things happening next. The good news is that heartache and pain come to an end, or better yet you become better at kicking their asses. That’s when you lose fear. There’s always a time when we realize that fear prevents us from living our best lives. So take your time, give into your grief and fears, you’ll see that no loving human being can stay there for eternity. It’s different for each of us, but we get through!

So here is to becoming stronger! Give. Take. Recreate

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